If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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