He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
