Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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