Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
