I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
where are my eyebrows?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
