she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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