i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Hippo gnu deer
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
