I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize