I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
