did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize