The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
