is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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