They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
you never un-have a 4some
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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