Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
