Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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