Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize