Your mouth is God's brothel.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
zippers are such a cool invention
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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