New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
