As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
