One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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