margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
