id be glad to
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize