May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Bring me that man meat
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
