Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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