one two three fourrrrnication!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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