I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
