I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
