There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
