May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
