I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
