Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize