You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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