i just wanna soil my oats bro
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
