I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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