Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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