Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
