I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
