Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
