I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
