me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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