You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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