why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
