I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
