Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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