im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize