She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize