You're earring is so big in my mouth
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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