I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
