Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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