Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
high people should be assigned attendants
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
