just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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