Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
