how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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