I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
