i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
