apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
