P.S. I can't hear my feet
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
