you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
