dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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