That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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