Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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