Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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