dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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