There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
