genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
