I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
