I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
