It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
