I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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