I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
