afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize