Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just google imaged poop.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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