White coat. Heels.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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