The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
